Built For This: Lessons From Hair Day
I remember when I found out I was having a boy, one of my first thoughts was:
“Whew… thank God I at least won’t have to do hair.”
I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it was a real relief. I am one of those Black girls where the braiding gene skipped right over me. My little sisters? Braiding prodigies. Me? Not so much. I’ve always leaned into protective styles because honestly, hair overwhelmed me. I never quite got the hang of it.
Fast forward four years later—and here I am, sitting on the floor with a head full of tiny coils in front of me, parting, braiding, and trying to keep my son from squirming away. Funny how that works, huh?
How motherhood always finds a way to stretch us into new versions of ourselves?
👩🏽🍼 There’s No Rulebook for This
Motherhood has this wild way of throwing you directly into the things you swore you couldn’t do. The things you feared. The things that made you insecure. And then it has the audacity to expect you to figure it out on the fly. And somehow… you do.
I used to be afraid I’d mess up his hair. That someone would look at him and think I didn’t care.
That I didn’t try. That I didn’t know what I was doing. (Because I didn’t.) But somewhere between detangling and parting, I realized that none of this is about perfection. It’s about effort. It’s about love. It’s about showing up.
There’s no manual for being a mom. No “Mom for Dummies” guidebook. It’s trial, error, tears, grace, and YouTube tutorials. And still, somehow, we do the impossible—over and over again. Because once you become a mother, adaptation becomes second nature.
🧠 We Adapt—It’s What We Do
I used to look at braiding as a skill I wasn’t born with. Now I see it as a love language. Each part, each twist, each tender pull is my way of telling my son: I see you. I care for you. I’m learning for you.
I didn’t think I could do hair. But motherhood said: “You will.”
And I did.
We adapt. We evolve. We figure it out. Because we have to. And somewhere between the “I can’t” and “I did,” we build confidence we didn’t even know we had.
Hair day became a reminder that even the things that once scared me can become sacred.
💗 A Word to the Mama in the Thick of It
If you’re somewhere in the trenches—whether it’s newborn fog, toddler mayhem, or teenage firestorms—this is for you:
You are the best mother for your child.
You are already equipped with everything you need.
And what you don’t have yet? You’ll pick it up along the way.
One messy, beautiful braid at a time.
So move like you’re built for it.
Mother like you’re built for it.
And most importantly…
Love on yourself like you’re built for it.
Because, sis, you are.
-Coach Joi
